Watch What You Say
I just came across this quote and thought it was appropriate, not just to the spoken word but here on the internet - particularly in the world of blogs and discussion groups where words - whether written in jest or not, can be open to a completely different interpretation from what might have been intended, when they land in someone’s inbox, discussion group or blog.
Don't jump to conclusions, just because you've read something that presses your buttons, particularly if you don't know the sender. I’ve seen several discussions that could be viewed as bullying or insulting that were actually friendly banter and tongue in cheek sarcasm but you would only know this if you knew the background and personalities involved.
Do they know each other and are you viewing a discussion as an outsider? Do you know the person involved? Do you know how they might be thinking or feeling? Re-read the text but take a different viewpoint. How would you read and interpret this message if it was written by a friend? Think about how your words could be interpreted by someone not in the ‘know’.
Remember that tone, feelings and the more subtle aspects of humour are difficult to convey in the written word. The same sentence read with different intonation and emphasis can be interpreted completely differently.
Looking back at the quote - if you have the habit of putting your foot in it it's worth spending a few minutes to think before you speak. At least take time to read what you've said before you hit send or be prepared to deal with the effect should the arrow find a different 'target' from the one that you intended.
If you have something important to say and you don’t want your message mis-interpreted, try it out on someone else. Sometimes we can have such a fixed viewpoint on something that we might be very familiar with, that we miss the obvious.
"Know that a word suddenly shot from the tongue is like an arrow shot from the bow. Son, that arrow won't turn back on its way; you must damn the torrent at its source." - Rumi
Don't jump to conclusions, just because you've read something that presses your buttons, particularly if you don't know the sender. I’ve seen several discussions that could be viewed as bullying or insulting that were actually friendly banter and tongue in cheek sarcasm but you would only know this if you knew the background and personalities involved.
Do they know each other and are you viewing a discussion as an outsider? Do you know the person involved? Do you know how they might be thinking or feeling? Re-read the text but take a different viewpoint. How would you read and interpret this message if it was written by a friend? Think about how your words could be interpreted by someone not in the ‘know’.
Remember that tone, feelings and the more subtle aspects of humour are difficult to convey in the written word. The same sentence read with different intonation and emphasis can be interpreted completely differently.
Looking back at the quote - if you have the habit of putting your foot in it it's worth spending a few minutes to think before you speak. At least take time to read what you've said before you hit send or be prepared to deal with the effect should the arrow find a different 'target' from the one that you intended.
If you have something important to say and you don’t want your message mis-interpreted, try it out on someone else. Sometimes we can have such a fixed viewpoint on something that we might be very familiar with, that we miss the obvious.
Labels: communication, relationships
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