Toxic Friends

Do you know someone who actually isn’t the sort of friend you need to have around you? While you may have known them for years – you’ve fallen in to the habit of being friends and the friendship may not actually work any more.

They’re the sort of people who probably don’t even realise they’re doing it but they have a negative outlook on life or worse than that they may spend their time running you down, being negative and taking every opportunity to ‘put you in your place’ whether obviously or in subtle ways. We all have our down times when we might have a moan and whinge and be negative and need to lean on our friends but people who always burden you with their problems and suck you in to their negative way of thinking, are not the sort of people you need in your life.

There needs to be a balance. If a person is consistently unsupportive, demanding, over critical, lets you down and you feel emotionally drained after you’ve spent time with them, that’s not a good friendship to have. They can affect your own self-esteem and affect you physically and mentally. To keep the friendship, you’ll need to tell them when they’re behaving badly, set clear boundaries, learn to say no and make sure you’re looking after yourself.

If they’re not willing to change or accept what you’re saying, then you may need to think about ending the friendship or at least putting some distance between you and see less of each other. If you want to keep the friend, recognise them for who they are and choose how much time you decide to spend with them. Take responsibility for how you feel and if it’s something you can manage.

You can change yourself but you can’t change your friends.