Ask For What You Want

Do you say what you think or do you just leave it up to guesswork and hope that the other person will take note of your subtle hints. I’ve often noticed a lack of communication that occurs between some couples. They seem to work on the basis of either indirect comments or psychic abilities as their way of communicating with their partner. Surprisingly this rarely works and misunderstanding and needless arguments can occur as a result.

There’s an expectation that the other person will somehow realise how they’re feeling or what it is that they want or need. When they get it wrong, it is of course all their fault. How were they to know that their partner would like them to do the washing, pick up the shopping, doesn’t like something or hates that particular restaurant, if they’ve never said so or asked. Subtle communication doesn’t always work, even when people know each other well.

If the message isn’t getting through, don’t just shrug, sigh or assume they’re being insensitive and keep things bottled up inside. Think about it. Have you ever actually asked? Not with an indirect, ambiguous comment, made as an aside but saying clearly and simply what it is that you want.

Don’t expect people to get everything right first time either. Take some time to allow them to make mistakes and learn and perhaps lower your standards of perfection and be more forgiving. Not everyone is as perfect as you and so what if things don’t get done to your exacting standards – as long as they get done and your relationship improves as a result.