Emotional Infection

Reading the Tipping Point this week there's an interesting section on the 'dance' that occurs when we have a conversation with someone or a person is communicating with us. You're probably aware of the importance of non-verbal cues in communication, that words are just a small part of getting the message across and that tone of voice and body language are part of that message. In order to create rapport we mimic body language and tone of voice. This is often taught as part of NLP in sales techniques. Not the best use as people can sense when they're being played and if you try too hard it just looks stilted and unnatural and has the opposite effect of making the other person feel uncomfortable. We all have a natural ability to synchronise our movement and speech with the people around us but some are better at doing this than others and they are the ones that have powerful, winning personalities.

There is another important non-verbal cue in the way we communicate. We can infect the other person with the emotion we're feeling. You know that other reasonably well-known that if some starts to yawn, it spreads. If you smile at someone there's a good probability that they'll smile too. Even if the effect is indiscernible there will be a millisecond of a smile. There's a thought that emotion may be infectious – you can pass on your emotion to other people around you. If you're feeling happy or around happy people the chances are you'll pick on their emotional state in the same way that if you're around someone who feels down or depressed, you're likely to come away in a low mood. You can also influence your own mood by turning your frown into a smile.

If you're good at expressing your emotions and feelings then you may be more emotionally contagious. Try it this week – but only in a positive way – create a happy mood in those around you who may not be feeling quite so happy.

Even if you're not emotionally infectious, at least pass on a smile and see what happens.

Busy Doing Nothing

I can always recommend the benefit of doing nothing, just to give you a few moments every now and then to let go. We don't do enough of it. We're always so busy rushing round, trying to get everything done, feeling that we don't have a minute to ourselves.

Yes, I know I spend most of the time encouraging you to take action. Cajoling you to take just one step at a time but this week I want you to do absolutely nothing. Yep, rien, nichts, nada, nothing. Don't panic, I'm not expecting you to do nothing for the whole week, just take some time out – each day if you can, to do nothing.

Some people take time each day to meditate. If you're already familiar with meditation techniques then perhaps you do this. If not, try it. Set aside a few minutes when you can totally switch off from everything. Switch off the phone if you think you might be interrupted. The easiest way to mediate for a few minutes is to focus on your breath.

Sit comfortably in either a cross-legged position on the floor or on a chair with both feet flat on the floor. Sit upright.

Close your eyes and focus gently on your body as it is supported by the floor or the chair. Breathe slowly and deeply for a few breaths using your whole chest and abdomen. Do you feel any tension, points of stress, aches and pains? Breathe into those parts of the body and relax them.

Breathe normally, becoming aware of your breath as it enters and leaves your body. If you find your mind wandering off, which it will, bring it gently back to your breathing. Sit like this for a minimum of five minutes longer if you can, building up to between 15-30 minutes at a time.

Another way you can do this is to just to sit quietly for a few minutes wherever you happen to be - in your office, in the car (stationary of course), on the bus, train or out in the park or your garden. Stop whatever you're doing and focus on your breathing as before. Take a few deep breaths first. Become aware of your body and the sounds, smells, sights and feeling of the environment around you. Again a few minutes will be enough to relax and refresh you.

Don't feel guilty about it either. While it's harder to stop the mind firing off in different directions - sometimes that can have it's own benefit as new ideas and solutions pop up. It's worth making time to 'do nothing'.

If you're not used to doing this, it will seem strange at first but stick with it and you'll start to enjoy and look forward to your quiet time.

Try it.

Focus On Taking Action

You know where you're going, you know how you're going to get there, so now you just need to take action again focusing on less is more. What action do you need to take to get you to where you want to be?

Now that you're focused, be open to the opportunities that are likely to become more obvious now you know where you're going. Listen out for chance conversations, look out for opportune moments that will get you closer to your 80/20 goal.

You'll still have many tasks you need to complete but now you'll be able to focus on the important ones and ignore the trivial ones. You can ignore all the actions that are likely to lead you off in the wrong direction or distract you. They won't get you were you want to be quicker and more easily. You'll just waste your time and energy on them.

Magnify your strengths and work to your values.